The last of the old...

Tomorrow I will take my last final exam as a undergrad. It is a great feeling to be in a place finality and completeness. Over the weekend I have found a place in Kansas City to live and begun to explore my new life ahead. There was a few moments of sadness embedded within my excitement of the new, the loss of the comfort I have known all my life of living in a place where I am surrounded by people and places I know so well. The blanket of familiarity that is so comforting when you've lived in one place so long. As I signed my lease it was bitter sweet knowing that what once seemed so far away has become so real and close. The perspective of appreciating the moment and those you love is so much more real when your alone in a new place and then allow to come back home. A year from now my definition of home will evolve, no longer a physical place, but a location of ones heart and those that are held within it....

Passion in the Springtime

This spring brings about change in the most profound way for me. I am selling my home, leaving my job (which I can't wait to do) and moving to a place where I don't know a soul. If this doesn't signify a life change I don't know what does. This is a gift, to have lived what I consider a second life, my first full of opposition and challenge and my second of opportunity and freedom. The former life was lived in repair of others, my current life is completely under my control- created by my own hands. The choice of medicine as a career feels as natural as anything I've ever done. It takes the best parts of me and unleashes them for the greater good. I have the opportunity to learn, teach and share for a lifetime. I hope that everyone can find this place for themselves. A place of pure satisfaction and understanding of what can be done when you truly put your heart work into a passion.. passion - the love of turning being into action.

Cop Car Crusing

I was driving down the parkway today when I notice a young black man driving what appeared to be a police cruiser. Upon closer inspection I realized that it was a decommissioned cop car, void of all the police insignia and decals, a black crown victoria with white top and doors. I thought how ironic that a young black male would be sold this vehicle after spending most of his adolescence avoiding such vehicles. I don't write this as a racist rant, more of an observation having grown up knowing plenty of young black males as hearing their opinions of the police. So after what has had to be years of giving pause to many, this car now gives pause for a different reason. I did notice that whatever vehicles were around this old cop car, they would slow down and drive slower, unsure of the exact nature of the ominous car ahead of them. I am sure that as car drove past this old cop cruiser that they thought of what I did. How silly it was to think that this was a real cop car and how odd it was that the very nature of fear that this car was meant to instill was still present, even though the driver was probably the subject of such fear at some time before.....

Blogging, a pretty brave thing if you ask me, putting your ideas out there for anyone in the world to judge and know. Perhaps it is safe from the stand point that your only as real on the internet as one would believe you are, yet there is always a little bit of truth about a writer hidden in the words he writes...

So its spring and the perpetual change that permeates this season is all over us. Of course I have not escaped, so I am selling a house, looking to buy a rental property and move away to Kansas City for medical school. I am moving into an apartment site unseen as I really don't have the time to look for a place while I am trying to sell and buy a place here. The truth is I will be so busy studying and working hard that my apartment in KC need only be sufficient to study, sleep and eat in. I will trust my fellow classmates advice and go with their suggestion...

So in closing, I am thinking of what the purpose of this blog should be other than as a requirement for class, I think this can be my diary, open for the world to share, a chronological account of the happenings of my life. That way when I meet someone new in Kansas City and beyond, and they ask "Tell me about yourself" I can supplement our conversation with an invite to check out my blog. We will see.

This has been the best week of my life. After a life of struggle and hard work, all my blood, sweat and tears have added up to an acceptance to the University of Kansas school of medicine. A perfect blend of location and teaching style, KU is the perfect school for me. I think that getting accepted to medical school is the best thing I have done in my life up to this point. I am so excited with what is to come in the near future....

I have always loved to write. From my early adolescence it was the one way I could communicate in a way the had a physicality to it. When I wrote others could feel what I felt, understand and relate to me in their own time, not held by the constrains of situational conversation. Through my writing I was able to let out the pain and questions I had about life and organize a sense of reason in a time where I was so filled with irresolution. Even to this day, writing allows me a way to reflect and digest the events of my life. I love the ability to come back to a poem or a piece of prose and see who I was and remember how I felt in that moment. Those conversations that I miss having with my grandparents and never had with my mom and dad are replaced with the conversations I can have with paper. Writing gives me peace, joy and resolution while allowing me a mode of communication that is always aware, ready and present and waiting to be rediscovered.

The effect of digital media on our modern language can be seen in how little most of my generation seems to enjoy classic forms of communication. Letters and hand written notes are rare. Reading books seems to be a hobby for those who are strange or socially awkward. How will all of this play out in our ability to communicate with each other? I can see the effects when I talk to my fellow pre-med students and they have no idea how to write a good essay or communicate clearly in interviews. Looking back at this application season for medical school I can honestly say that my ability to write and communicate well with others has served as a springboard for opportunity. I am hoping that my interest in being an effective communicator will serve as a point of differentiation between me and my competition when it comes to getting accepted to a great program.

Medical school interviews

This week was an important one for me as a professional student. I interviewed at KU medical school on Wednesday and it was a very different experience than my other medical interviews, I assume it is due to my strong desire to get accepted at KU. With my other interviews it seemed more conversational, as if all the interviewers really wanted to do is get to know me. With this panel of interviewers it seemed like I was interviewing for a professional program with more emphasis on my thought process than my experiences. In any case I didn't feel that this interview went worse or better than my others, just different. We will know over the next many weeks how it will all play out, and I hope the end result is me in school in KC at KU medical school!

Advertising and the internet

This week my professor posed an interesting thought about how advertising effects the internet and how effective it is. It made me think of how obtrusive ads via the net can be, blocking entire pages or forcing one to watch an ad before you can get to where you really want to go. The assumptive nature of ads on the net have that big brother feel to them that I just can't get used to.

Stereotypes exist as a means of simplifying that which we often understand to be true to some extent. What causes stereotypes to be so dangerous is when we make value judgements about the ability or intent of individuals based on ideas that are founded on assumptions of character derived from simple stereotypes. Where stereotypes end and the truth begins is a fine line drawn the sand of perceptive misconceptions. From personal experience I can say that there is usually the mixed essence of truth and self discovery in a stereotype, but rarely do I allow a value of a person to be based in the idea of a personality categorization. I choose to allow true interaction to develop my idea of what a person is capable of and to what extent that they maybe stereotyping me...

Another week of reflection

This week we were asked in class to reflect on our past, specifically to dissect a television show from our past. Television shows chronicle what is occurring in our culture through their undercurrent of humor and moral hyperbole. Communication is evolving right before our very eyes. What we once said in person or by letter is told via text and blog sites. How this will effect our culture remains to be seen, and as more information is available from more people at any given time, this vast quantity of information is being traded at the expense of real human connection and dialog. Personal accountability will surely be dampened and the ability to know what is real from what is B.S. with surely diminish...

New Year New Semester New Beginnings

Well last time I posted on my blog it was end of spring semester 2008 and now here I am at the start of a new Spring semester and its 2010. My how time flies. To look back at what I have accomplished since then is really amazing. I've taken the MCAT twice, applied and interviewed for medical school, gotten a new car and I have a M-F job now in a OR rather than waiting tables on the weekend and having school all week. I was originally planning on being a semester into medical school by now but as life would have it I will be in medical school in the Fall of this year instead. It kind of makes me think that this blogging thing can be a really great way to chronicle ones life while letting the world at large know what your up to.